C is for Cemetery!

Ah, fall! It is a time for sweaters, mugs of hot chocolate, and apple-picking. But in Los Angeles, fall is apparently but a stone’s throw from hell if we’re talking in terms of heat and inappropriateness. I was lucky enough to escape to New York, wherein I donned sweaters aplenty, gulped rivers of warm chocolate, and picked no apples but found another unexpectedly lovely activity: a stroll in a cemetery!

“A cemetery? Surely you’re joking! What of the danger of zombies? What of the boredom of being surrounded by thousands of people who you can’t talk to? What of the tiresome activity of restraining disrespectful squirrels who hop and leap from tree to tombstone with no regard for those who have passed?”

And to you I say clearly you’ve never been to Green-Wood Cemetery in Brooklyn. Welcome to dead people paradise!

I spent a little more than an hour rambling through the cemetery. They offered a tour, but I’m not about shell out my hard-earned dough to have some living body tell me a bunch of stuff I could just read on a plaque or imagine for myself! There are people of all manner of religions stuffed into this beautiful cemetery. You got your Jews, you got your Christians, you got Catholics, you got some other stuff. Weird religions. Tacky tombstones, classy tombstones. You got it all! You got tons of dead bodies. Including famous people! I only spotted Leonard Bernstein’s resting spot, but Boss Tweed is also hiding somewhere in this space. And some other famous fools.

I highly recommend a visit to Green-Wood if you have the chance. It’s also home to many Civil War soldiers and has a monument to the Battle of Brooklyn. This was the 1st major battle of the revolution and it was HUGE. George Washington was there and everything and we basically ended up retreating/evacuating but historians agree it was a totally awesome retreat. So even though historians were all like, “George was a terrible strategist and acted like a dummy with a plummy on his thumby shoved right up his bummy,” they were also all like, “but that retreat was one of the best retreats ever cause you totally evacuated like 9000 people and you ROCKED IT.”

And here is the monument to the battle, located on Battle Hill, which is the highest point in Brooklyn!

And here is a particular tombstone that caught my eye:

There are all sorts of different kinds of markers – tombstones, little statues, crypts, mausoleums – everythings. It was slightly depressing at times, but overall a pleasant and peaceful start to the day. So head over to Green-Wood for a cemetery treat!


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